The best books for nice people to be more persuasive

This book helped me recall and explain the times when I really made a positive impact. It really IS about telling a compelling story.

I learned that I didn’t have to be a powerhouse; just tell the story in a way that makes a difference. It taught me how to gauge what level of influence I really have with people from lowest to highest: Compliance, Participation, Buy-In, Leadership, and Visionary. 

Instead of working with a team who are merely complying or participating at best, which means as a leader, I have to constantly check if the work has been done and done correctly, I can trust my colleagues to self-manage, deliver high-quality work and be a real part of our team.

I love this book because his techniques are so practical and easy to use.

I re-read his book when I was in the middle of a difficult business negotiation over Zoom and email and followed his directions step by step. This led to a positive outcome for both of us.

He makes sure that you are very clear on what is essential for you, enables you to figure out the sometimes hidden motivations of the other person, and guides you through on what to say and do next. I will go through it again the next time I am preparing a negotiation.

It’s weird to recommend this book to get better at persuading. But if I had read it before presenting new ideas, I would have saved thousands of dollars in development costs and shortened the time it took to persuade others to back me. His main idea is “The minimum viable product.”

So, instead of spending too much time and money developing my idea before talking to anyone, trying to make it perfect, I showed a 2-slide mockup of the idea to a friend, who said “I would NEVER use this. It takes up too much time. I just want something quick and dirty to help me write a persuasive email.” Wow! Her comment blew my mind and prevented me from spending a fortune on an impractical tool.

Firstly, Suzannah makes a case for why all of us should seek out opportunities to make presentations and what can happen to our careers if we don’t, and then she shows exactly how to make presentations that get results! 

I love her way of showing how to focus on the audience and what they need and want. This is important as I have noticed how quickly I and other people get bored by boring presenters. Her Diamond presentation structure gave me an easy, quicker way to create a great presentation. And I really love her 5-Step Business Storytelling Structure: Who, Problem, Solution, Execution, Results. This is a great way to focus on the client and demonstrate, without bragging, why they need what I have to offer.

I have read this book so many times! It changed how I communicate with people operating from the Traditional Male Model or the Traditional Female Model.

She explains that someone’s Operating Metaphor can be “Life is a game” or “Life is like a traditional classroom”. Game players want to win, and students want to get a great evaluation or pass an exam, so I need to shift my communication style for each. 

And who knew that women and men have different definitions of common terms? A lie is either: “Saying something that is not true” or “Something that is not true and harmful!” This book showed me how specifically to develop my flexibility and stop being so judgy!